The brighter, more intelligent and more wise, ‘me’.
My beautiful creation.
I look at you with tears in my eyes.
We girls, are so emotional, and easily bruised.
But, I will make you no less than a warrior.
A fighter.
A lover.
A dreamer.
A Girl. My girl. THEE girl,
With hopes, and dreams.
A Woman,
With respect within herself, not for just others.
But don’t be mistaken… You will always be my baby, no matter how woman you may hold yourself to be.
You are easily my best friend.
I can guide you right, from wrong, while laughing and smiling the whole way through.
You test me as much just as I test you.
Your kisses are like candy, so sweet and innocent.
Your love is pure, and your soul is golden.
A diamond.
You shine brighter, than anyone i’ve ever met.
Inside and out.
You’ve yet any idea how messy this world is, and knowing I’m raising a girl(s) in it, truly scares me.
You are too angelic and precious for this cruel world.
One day you will tower over me just in the way buildings do.
One day you will want to be alone, no longer needing my cuddles, no longer wishing to hold my hand or brush through my hair with your soft little baby brush.
No longer needing me to scare off the scary monsters, or console you everytime you cry.
One day you will no longer be in my bedroom to sleep, you will be in your own.
One day you will be independant.
One day you will have children and a complete life of your own.
One day somebody will be taking care of your gentle heart, and I will only sit and hope that you will always feel complete, wherever life takes you.
One day Mama, turns into Mom, quicker than I’m prepared for.
You take your first steps and then you’re off to school.
But your first steps were within me.
The feet I grew from the depths of my body.
The punches and jabs from your tiny hands.
A feeling I will never forget.
And now i’m looking at how beautiful you’re becoming, and how strong you are.
How bubbly and joyous you always are.
So, for now, I will cherish the beautiful baby girl, God has blessed me with, and I will spend every lucky waking eye,
loving you unconditionally.
For you are mine, as I am yours, and that I will always be.
You test my patience but show me patience, side by side, day to day.
You make me so happy, and keep me full of life.
You make me live so on edge, but in all the right ways.
Keeping me on my toes, or skating on thin ice with you, is more better explained on how it feels, and what it’s like, raising you.
The importance of life, when asked what it is, it’s so easily said, when all I have to do is tell them about you and your big bold eyes, your tiny little smile, and the way you say my name.
You make me melt.
All you have to do is look my direction and i’m putty in your tiny hands.
My son.
You are so handsome, and so full of life and love.
So full of joy.
I pray nobody ever dims your light.
Your light, so brightly lit, you could blind an entire roomful of people.
You will soon grow too big for my arms, and too heavy for my lap.
But, still I will carry you, wherever you need to go.
I will never deny you.
I will guide you even when you become more wise than I.
You will soon be a man.
And I hope your future whomever, comes to me one day and tells me all about how amazing of a man you turned to be.
Because even though that man you will be, my baby you once were.
The baby who depended on me for all needs and wants.
Who called out to me when they were sick, hurt, upset, or distraught.
Who kicked me from the inside out.
When I was listening to your heartbeat from a monitor, you were listening to mine from within.
So in sync we once were.
You were as tiny as an apple seed, while I was your nourishing tree.
now look at you.
and simply how perfect you turned out to be.
My first true love you will always be to me.
No man could ever replace the love and fulfillness you’ve brought me.
When I found out I was having a daughter, I was scared, kind of upset because I had hoped for a boy, but overall I was so so excited. I was so excited to raise a little me, the dresses and bows, all things girly, I seriously couldn’t wait. They say when you have a girl you need to learn “how to mature, and grow up”, and that I did. I was a crazy party girl, had tons of friends, in and out of relationships until I met her daddy. I had just lost a baby 3 months prior to this pregnancy, alongside my father having a massive stroke, leaving him paralyzed and unable to speak, and as well as my best friend of 11 years passing away. My life was easily falling apart. I was so lost, and hurt. I would’ve turned back to the partying but probably would’ve went at it more hardcore and full force, to simply mask my depression and emotions, only IF I didn’t find out I was pregnant with my daughter. I’m very in tune with my body, always tracking my periods, but was not in any way, trying for another baby. Yet, here she was. Once I accepted it, I hoped so hard for a boy, only because I solely felt attached to the saying “if you have a boy, you needed to be shown love”, and I was in such a low state in life where I thought having a baby boy would ease my heart, but I guess God thought I deserved something as precious as a baby girl, and I was very in-denial about needing to “grow up” but that I did, and SHE definitely made me grow up.
My daughter came with some more serious challenges, such as her motor skills delay starting just at 3-4 months of age. Now her coming up on her 2nd birthday in a few months, she’s still super behind, and receiving tons of help from different doctors and therapists etc… which is perfectly fine, but being a FTM, It’s nothing I expected, and it has most definitely been challenging in more ways than one, in addition to adding in her brother who’s a year apart from her, and now welcoming another baby girl in just a few short months as well. 3 back to back to back, ITS BEEN TOUGH. But being her mom has been such a spark and light in my life, she has the most creative, funky and silly personality and I love her so much more than I could’ve ever imagined.
SO, GIRL MOMS!!!
Are you ready to talk about the attitude that comes behind their beautiful smiles? How are you REALLY doing, being a mom of a girl/girls? They are so rough and mean at times sometimes If I hear a baby cry, I think its my daughter but nope… just my son because his sister is being mean to him. My daughter is a Pisces, but I love how she so much resembles a huge lit fire.
They love to cuddle, and be as sweet as sugar, until you tell them “NO”, or until you do the opposite of what they want you to do, by then all hell breaks loose.
The bows and cute dresses typically only last until they’re crawling, or walking, because by that time they’re mobile enough to just run away, flip over, or shimmy away. They don’t want anything touching their head, and “ew!! get this scratchy thing off of me” when it comes to any pretty, dressy-like dresses.
This morning, I was upstairs getting my daughter clothes for the day and by the time I made it back downstairs, she managed to have a diaper, and wipes set out for me…how smart and sweet, letting me know she wants changed!!! EXCEPT she also took her wet diaper off, set it across the room, went into the corner and.. decided she wasn’t finished, then sat her bare butt on the floor playing with toys like nothing happened.
THATS GIRLS FOR YOU!!
Boy moms always talk about how easy boys are and how lucky you’ll feel when you have boys, and that’s somewhat true, I mean my son was shoving leaves in his mouth earlier, and actually digesting them. So yeah boys are rough, stinky & loud but girls are like a couple of drunk friends, they’re so clumsy, always crying, emotional and needy, they’re so beautiful but a mess to say the least.
and truth be told, I wouldn’t give my daughter and her beautiful mess, up for anything in the world.
This baby girl saved me. She makes me die of laughter, I can’t express to you how funny she is, how SMART she is, sometimes I wonder how mine specifically has any sort of delays because she some days, just picks up like a whole new person i’ve never seen before. She AMAZES ME. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I feel so lucky that God hand picked this perfect little girl for me.
No matter how many corners she pees in, or how messy her hair may be, how many times she screams at me and cries for no reason. All the rude attitudes and nasty looks I receive, everything this girl is…is all “I was”. You bite your own bullet when you have little girls. They spit back what you feed to them.
The love a baby girl will give you, is nothing like anyone else. They will be your best friend. They will wipe your eyes when you cry, make you laugh when you’re sad. They are truly the love and friend you always wished to have, and now you have it.
They are a forever love.
A forever friend.
Forever your baby girl.
“Having a little girl, has been like following an old treasure map, with the important paths, torn away”
When you’re pregnant, so many people probably tell you the saying “if you have a boy, you’re needing to be loved/shown what true love is”. And i’ve never heard something so real. I wanted my boy first before all other kids of mine. Though I was eager either way because this was my first baby, my rainbow baby. I had my daughter. I found a different type of love in her. 4 months after she was born, I got pregnant purposefully, I wanted two close together, I wanted her to have a friend, but my whole pregnancy I only wanted another girl, I couldn’t picture a boy, I refused to believe he was a boy when they told me, even though he clearly showed us, he was definitely a “he”. Boy names were so hard, boy clothes were so “boring” and “basic” with little to choose from. I cried selfishly wishing he wasn’t him, for months.
And then he was born. March 27th. I have never, in my life, felt so complete. He looked just like me. He was so beautiful and so healthy for being born 3 weeks early of his due date. He was everything I wanted. Perfect. I felt happy, I wasn’t ever tired despite my baggy eyes. I was excited every second I got with him. I was up even when he was sleeping because I simply couldn’t take my eyes off of him. His sister loved him so much, was so good to him. We as a family adjusted so well.
So to the boy moms.
Whether you wanted a son or not, you have one. He’s here. And my goodness, isn’t his love so pure? So genuine and gentle. Yet he himself, so rough and fiesty. He just seems to be so fitting for your arms, no matter how big he gets. How he looks in your eyes, for any and everything as if you are the only one who can keep him happy. He needs you unlike any other human that may be in his life. You are all he wants, every minute of his awoken days. He may sleep all through the night, but every so often, wakes and reaches out for you to comfort him.
Do you find yourself wanting just one minute of space, but that’s seriously next to impossible because he just follows you? LITERALLY everywhere you go?! and if you do find a way to keep him put long enough to do whatever it is you need to do, he still cries and screams until you come back. He’s scared to be without you, or at least that’s what it seems.
He always wants held. He will climb up your leg and whimper until you cave in and pick him up. He may hate to cuddle but will never deny snuggling up close to you even just for 2 seconds. 2 seconds of your cheeks squished to his, embracing a ginormous bear hug, with lots of kisses, and tons of ‘i love yous’.
You can be across the room, and somehow manage to make eye contact with eachother. You know that feeling you get inside, when he smiles at you, and comes crawling/running after you? That has to be one of the best feelings on earth.
My all time favorite is when someone witnesses his clinginess, and admires it. “that’s definitely a mommys boy”, “he loves his mommy so much”, all of the “awwww” reactions. The attention, in that moment, radiates so much positivity off of me, because I love to hear it from someone else, that my baby is obsessed with me. IN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL, HEALTHY WAY.
No matter if you’ve never been in a toxic relationship, or you don’t have an absent male figure in your life, if you grew up loved and seeming perfect, that boy just makes it THAT much more perfect, but for the women who have been hurt, abused mentally, emotionally, or physically. Those who have felt heartbreak before, from any kind of “man”. There’s no denying that this boy has brought you a love you’ve never felt before, he gives you hope. He gives you this beautiful and innocent outlook on love. He won’t hurt you or break your heart the way the others have. He’s your empire. Your protector. Your saving grace.
It’s undeniable that from the moment you give birth, you fall into such a deep unbreakable, irreplaceable love with this sweet boy.
He can pull your hair, spit up and slobber all over you, and stress you out to the max. He may grow up and tell you all about how he “hates” you, or can’t wait to be away from you, or that ‘you’ are the clingy one, but he only fails to realize that it was you there for him through everything. It was mama he cried out for.
This messy, smelly baby boy will one day grow into a man, and luckily you get to raise him to be the man a woman will one day only wish to seek. You get to teach him about womanhood, and how to respect alongside how to love and be kind.
Have you ever tried to do crafts with babies or toddlers? If so, you know it’s nothing like crafts with kids.
Kids may make huge unwanted messes, or get overly excited or they might be oddly specific about how the t-shirt on your drawing, needs to be BLUE with lime green stars and glitter stripes “up and down, not side to side”, and they won’t accept anything else!
BUT BABIES and crafts is another story.
You see something cute online and it seems fairly simple. You get together all of the necessities, gather your baby and start.
Everything’s going great, baby’s curious, seems super interested looking at the paint on their little hands and then it happens.
HANDS IN MOUTH.
NO SMEAR IT ON THE TABLE.
BACK IN MOUTH.
RIP EVERYTHING UP AND THROW IT ALL ON THE FLOOR!
For some reason they get… sleepy?? time to rub the eyes AND ALL OVER THEIR FACE IT GOES,
DONT FORGET!! IN THE HAIR.
Meanwhile, you’re trying to get them to sit still.
“Put your hand here, not there, no!! right here!”
You’re covered in paint, and if you have other kids not participating they’re either crying or all of a sudden they need mom.
The cute pinterest art work you were trying to accomplish now has smudges and is not at all what you expected.
Now they’re demanding a bottle or food, need changed or want laid down.
AND YOU ARE OVER IT.
So, what now?
Their handprints may not look like handprints,
Foot prints are probably 3x the length their actual foot is, and its missing a toe somewhere, somehow.
So you PROBABLY take the paint and makeshift a cute little hand that truly looks nothing like theirs but grandma doesn’t mind nor does she notice, and it’s the “thought that counts” anyways, right?
When all is said and done, you probably sit and think about how you can’t wait until they’re old enough to just step on the paper and be done with it, or when you tell them to “write this, here”, it’s just that simple.
No matter how stressed out you may be after trying to accomplish something ‘so simple’, you still get so happy and that “proud” feeling overflows within you when you come back later and look at it.
Your baby is only so little for so long, and although it was tough, you were able to make a memory from it.
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a great one”
You’re going to feel so many different emotions once baby is here, no matter if you’re a first time mom or second, third, or fourth.
No matter how your birth went, or pregnancy as a whole.
No matter if you’re letting go of your baby to another family opportunity, or bringing them home.
No matter if you’re a single mom or married.
Multiples or singlet.
You will feel.
You will feel so much bliss, so much love, you will overfill with happiness AND sadness.
You will possibly carry over baby weight.
You may have the baby blues.
Don’t be discouraged by the post-baby diapers, we’ve all been there.
Don’t be saddened if your milk supply takes a second longer to come in, if it even ever does.
Fed is best.
Happy baby is best.
Happy mommy is best.
Healthy is best.
You may rid your clothes for weeks to avoid constant spit up stains, or leaky milk stains.
You may cry on the bathroom floor.
Stress may fill your heart from time to time.
Constant worry that you may not ‘be doing enough’.
But you are doing amazing.
Having a baby is hard.
Caring for one can be even harder.
And adding your needs into that, is next to impossible.
But, always remember,
Ask for an extra hand when you think you may need one, get as much sleep as you can, and EAT EAT EAT!!
Drink lots of water, meditate, speak out about issues and emotions.
Do what you need to do to make sure you are stable and happy for not only your family but yourself.
Always make time for you, you are just as important as your sweet baby, you deserve a relaxing and beautiful postpartum recovery experience with your baby and new overall family.
Brooklyn Leigh 