Month: September 2020

Just when I feel as I have failed, in many ways more than one, I see you. The beauty I made. I see my son, my daughters, my heart. I made those eyes, I made those lips, I made every hair on your little body. I stay home and care for you, and watch you as you grow. I created you, crafted you, carried you in the depths of my body, and soon after, in my arms. You look just like me in ways. You fed from my body, inside and out. I want to cry and give up, and then I look at you sleeping, so soundless, and motionless, but your heart beats, the heart I morphed. I see your eyes moving behind your eyelids and I wonder what you’re dreaming of, what your little brain is showing you, there’s a fire lit in your head that I was able to start. You speak to me, you find comfort in me, you ache for me, to hold you and love you. I made those emotions, I taught you those words and motions. I see your milestones and I am amazed by you, yet I pushed you to get there.

You would assume you love me more than I love you, but that will simply never be true, and you may never fully know just how wide my love reaches out for you, and that is okay. I love that you look at me with hope in your eyes, you make sure i’m always watching, and baby I AM. I will always feel defeated by the sadness that weeps over you from time to time. I hate to know that I may ever be a reason behind your cries. I created you and I want nothing but the best for you, the happiest, brightest, loveliest things in life, I want those all set aside just for you.

You’re so angelic and fragile in this crazy world, with so much chaos around us, you are the calm I need. Though I admit, you are the storm in my life at times, there is still nothing that shines more like the sun, than you. You have so much ambition and courage yet to be built, but I am certain to help you with that. I will be by your side until the earth decides I shall not walk it anymore, and even after, I will forever be with you.

I love you. My beautiful child.

(all 3 of you)

How do you relax as a mother? It may get easier over time, or maybe even harder, but I feel as if anything can beat trying to relax as a new mother, honestly. You rarely ever get time to relax, and when you do, you’re rushed or some may even be/feel judged. Below are a few different things you can do to possibly help you relax.

1. Find a book to read: Now I may be a writer but I cannot stand to read a book, but I will list some of the top rated and best seller books as of now that I found through google, to maybe help you choose a new one to start. I have no idea what any of these books are but you can google to read and find out if you may enjoy them!
   • The Glass Hotel- Emily St. John Mandel
   • My Dark Vanessa- Kate Elizabeth Russell
   • The Vanishing Half- Brit Bennett
   • Long Bright River- Liz Moore
   • Death in her hands-Ottessa Moshfegh
   • Weather- Jenny Offill
2. Watch a movie: I haven’t watched any good movies since having kids, they take over the tv 24/7 but if you ever get a chance to wind down alone, watching a movie is a great idea to help you relax. Below I have listed aswell, the top rated movies as of now!
   • The Lodge
   • To all the boys:P.S. I still love you
   • The Wretched
   • The Rental
   • The Gentlemen
   • Mulan
   • Summerland
   • Military Wives
3. Go on a walk: Going on a walk or jog, can help you take in some fresh air and release any stress or unhealthy emotions you may be carrying with you.
4. Call/Video chat: Call, or video chat with your friends or family, it can be an easy way to not feel lonely, but still be able to relax alone, instead of having company over or you leaving, you can talk to them right in the comfort of your home as you wind down.
5. Journaling: As said many times on my blog, journaling, writing, blogging etc… is an easy way to relax. Its ofcourse not for everyone, some may get tired of it or not be able to think up enough thoughts to lay out, but thats okay! its still an option to try! click here to read my post about the benefits of journaling.
6. Eat a decent meal: Typically with kiddos, you dont usually get to eat a nice meal, if you prefer cooking, cook yourself up a nice meal, find a movie and relax, have some dessert after, treat yourself, Or you can order take out, and do the same thing. Food always speaks to my heart so this is probably what I would do personally!
7. Take a bath/shower: Take a nice hot bath and relax, listen to some music and drink some wine, or take a really long nice shower, no babies or significant others, noone to bother your peace.
8. Outside: Hangout outside if its nice enough! Fall is coming, which means bonfires, s’mores and everything pumpkin!! best time to sit outside and relax, all bundled up and warm by a fire.
9. Board Games: Call over some friends/family and have a calm, game night! Pull out the blankets, snacks, and games, and sit around and have some fun !
10. Rest: Last but not least, sleep. Rest. In any way you can, just get as comfortable as you can and have the best nap, or nights sleep, you can get!

These are ofcourse, not even close to half of the things you can do to try and relax, but these are the ones that I try to include atleast once a week to help me get “me time” in, and feel sane. Relaxation in any form is very important and beneficial to your health. Relaxing helps reduce stress, depression, anxiety, and tons of other health related issues. Relaxing can lower your heart rate and blood pressure. It reduces muscle and tension, and so much more. If you never get a break or release emotions/tension, you will be very run out, tired and possibly lead to the opposite effects of the health issues listed above.

Self-care is so important and often times brushed away from all the other chaos that comes with caring for others. There are several ways you as a mommy can take care of yourself even when you are starting to feel like it doesn’t matter anymore. Some women don’t get back in tune with their bodies until far far after baby is born, and in those months, days, hours or even years, your confidence wilts and you start to shut the ‘old’ you, out. Many mothers tend to dwell on how they looked pre-baby or miss the life they had before baby came along, and I am in-fact one of those mothers. I currently have a one month old, almost two month old baby boy who stretched me as far as my body would take me, whereas with my daughter who is now almost 14 months old, I “snapped back” and didn’t get a single stretch mark on my body, I felt so accomplished with her and how my body “snapped back”.. It made me feel on top of the world knowing I was able to grow a little human and my body went back to before like nothing ever happened, I felt beautiful and confident. Now being 5+ weeks postpartum with my son, I don’t feel as lovely as I did before, and trying to handle 2 under 2 alongside handling my boyfriend when he gets off work, and handling all the SAHM(stay at home mom) stuff, its driven my self-care and my strength, mentally and physically into a brick wall, but I am here to take my soul back. I am here to take over my body and my life and make myself the happiest mother I can be, for not only my kids and everyone around me, but for MYSELF. Listed below are topics and things I am currently doing to get my body back in shape, inside and out. Even if you feel like you’ve tried it all and nothing works, you are beautiful in the skin you’re in, you have to believe in yourself and stay at it, nothing changes over night, it will all take a bit of time, consistency is key when trying to get yourself back together. You will never look how you did previously. You may even look better now than ever before, but you will never be able to travel back in time and have the same body, same mentality, or same life you had before baby came along. Maybe you’re struggling with weight GAIN, not necessarily losing the baby weight, but putting it on, or maybe its vice versa…Maybe you are struggling with a healthy diet, maintaining good meal portions or even meals at all, I know in my case, I don’t do anything but snack…..ALL……DAY. I never catch a break long enough to sit or even prepare a meal, I sure do have 2 seconds to scarf this cookie down though !! If you are that person, or a person needing to clear your mental thoughts not really your appearance, then keep scrolling. Find whichever topic fits you best and run with it !

Weight Gain/Loss is what we will start with, so like I just stated, I struggle with alot of left over baby weight, and with my kiddos being so close in age, the tiny bit of weight left from my daughter, I was never able to lose, so that just added on into my second pregnancy. The best thing to do in either case, gain or loss, is MEAL PREP!!!!! I cannot stress it enough, I just recently started doing meal prepping for everyone in our house but mainly myself to make sure I keep a healthy diet,HERE is a link to tons of my favorite foods/meal prep ideas & healthy weight loss tips! For a few weight gaining tips, click HERE.

JOURNALING is something that helps me mentally. I write or even blog to express my feelings and help release any anger or tension, sadness or stress, and so on, I use it as an outlet when my close friends are unavailable. Starting something similar may help you be less bottled up over emotions and lead you to an overall healthier inside feeling. Click HERE to read about how journaling can help you when needed.

FRIENDS I CANNOT stress it enough, it is so important to surround yourself with good friends, even if you have to make new friends. Surround yourself with people who know how to make you smile or cheer you up easily, friends who can help you forget the feelings you were having before you left the house. You need people who will LISTEN when you vent and be there with supportive opinions. Make time for the people who care about your health and you will GLOW!!! Do not let other people drag you down or listen to any negativity they try to throw your way. Find love within yourself and even more in your friends and blossom!

HYDRATION is so important to selfcare. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in mom life or trying to remember and balance out everything being thrown at you and your hydration begins to plummet. A normal daily dosage for water intake is 8, 8oz glasses/a day! Keeping hydrated can reduce acne, help with energy, and overall make you feel so much more healthier.

SLEEP SLEEEEEEEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP!!!! Rest when you can, even if its shutting your eyes for 2 minutes longer than normal. Any kind of relaxation and rest is vital to taking care of yourself, which we all knew. Hand the kids off for once without feeling bad about it, and get some shut eye, a happy, well-slept mama is the best mama one can have!

RELAX, relaxing whenever you get the chance, can benefit you in more ways than one, click HERE to read all about how relaxing can benefit you and different ways to relax during a busy life.

GET OUT, get out of the house whenever you can, going to the store is one of my ways to easily escape mom life, and get time alone. As said above, spend time with friends and family and people who make you happy, take your animals on a walk, go to the park by yourself and swing, or walk a trail, go hiking, feel the freedom the world has to offer and get away from whatever chaos is back home, set goals for yourself and talk to yourself a bit, go out for lunch with friends, or again, alone. Any way to get out, will be the greatest relief you could give yourself.

MEDITATE and get in tune with your body, and soul. Do yoga, or stretch, practice breathing methods, anything around the sorts that may help calm you and place you in a better mood is ofcourse a very good, easy, relaxing way of caring for yourself.

HOBBIES, Find hobbies to help you get through your day, whether it be sewing, knitting, blogging, photography, crafts, spots,etc.. Hobbies are a great way to reduce stress, try to replace this with normal things you may do, meaning if you clean on a day to day basis whenever your child is napping or in school, why not pull out your most prefered and enjoyable hobby. Skip a day of the normal stuff and do something fun and relaxing for once.

No matter how you decide to take in your self care, make sure you do it to your fullest extent. Love yourself first, always; Always make time for you.

This post is all about how journaling, writing, or blogging, can possibly help you better take care of yourself and not stay so bottled up when it comes to emotions. I believe we all have emotions we’d hate to share with the world, or even would LOVE to share with the world, but however you choose to go about it is up to you.

A few things you could try using are listed below.

• A journal or notebook with a lock attached could be great if you have children or younger siblings or if anyone in home is nosey, you can keep the key put up where only you have access and that way, all of your thoughts are to yourself, sealed tight.
• A binder/organizer with loose paper included inside is a good way to stay organized and keep everything in order, easily able to remove without ripping any seams in a notebook, and it can be placed with school/work items, or near such items that make it blend in so again, nobody will be intrigued to read inside.
• A blog doesn’t have to be shared with the world but if you prefer typing and in an organized way, knowing your work will be securely saved and wont be lost, a blog is the way to go. This blog can be shared with specific people that maybe you’d like to include to read, or public to the world if that’s what you’re aiming for, or simply private to you. Here you can create your own little world, adding pictures, clipart, videos, nearly whatever you’d like, its all personalized and you can express not just your feelings but aswell as your creativity and personality.
• In a folder on the computer could also be a good way to utilize privacy, and again, if you’d rather type vs write, you can always open up your computer notepad and start expressing, away.
• Emailing friends, a therapist/doctor, etc… can help you recieve answers to whats being written/typed. If you want to share your emotions with others, even family or doctors or whomever. Emailing them is a good way to express yourself to somebody, because it will always stay on file through the emails, and easily accessible, as well as you will be getting a response, this being the same as texting or venting through the phone, either way is another form you could use.

There are probably plenty of other resources you could use to express how you feel, but no matter how you go about it, make sure its all you, it shouldn’t feel as if you’re hiding or embarrassed, you should be freely expressing everything that is on your heart, and even if these are all good things that’s keeping your mind occupied, then that’s even better. You will soon one day grow old and possibly be appreciative or reminisce on those days you wrote about. Nomatter what its about, always remember your feelings are valid and keeping emotions bottled inside, will only lead to further problems, such as stress, anxiety, anger, sadness, and so on…Expressing yourself can help you better control not only your mood and thoughts, but your fears, concerns, problems, and such. Writing things out can IMPROVE your writing skills, and your memory. It can expand your creativity, and allow you to self reflect on whatever you choose to write about if outside of your feelings. It will overall better you and your health inside and out.

Here are a list of links to better expand and explain my post outside of my own words.

• 83 benefits of journaling
• The benefits of journaling for stress management
• The health benefits of journaling

So this will be all of my tips and tricks on how to GAIN weight. Whether you struggle with a medical issue that causes low weight or you losing weight, or you just simply have a hard time gaining, this is for you to at least TRY. None of these tips from either post, my weight loss post and this one, are saying 100% it will work, but these are some of the things I have read, researched or even tried myself, that I am putting together for you to try, in hopes it DOES work!

Lets start by saying, yes soda, sweets, fast food and so on will help you gain weight but they can also lead you to more severe problems later down the road, so its best you stay away from or cut back those unhealthy sugars/fats.

1. High protein foods Just as stated in my weight LOSS post, high protein foods are one of the best ways to gain weight as well as losing it, how so?— studies have shown that when eating a high protein diet, it causes many calories to turn into muscle/healthy fats. The only downfall to eating foods high in protein, and how it actually signals weight loss rather than gain, is that it keeps you full longer and gets you full faster, making it hard to intake enough calories but keeping up with enough protein will show a significant difference in the weight you bring on. A good list of foods high in protein, will be linked HERE. keep in mind that the link attached is on my weight loss tips, but the proteins are associated with both loss and gain.

2. Carbs & Fat include high-carbs and high-fat foods into your diet alongside the protein, with every meal. HERE I have linked a website I felt was very helpful with understanding what foods you should be intaking when trying to gain weight.

3. DONT drink water before meals You should avoid drinking water before meals because it is known to easily fill you up before meals and harder to intake enough daily calories you need to gain proper weight.

4. Eat more frequently Although the average food intake is 3 meals a day, try to make it 5-7 meals, or eat the standard 3 and throw in snacks or protein shakes/smoothies.

5. Exercise Even if you’re gaining weight, exercise is vital to keeping healthy, if you do the proper exercises as I have listed below, it can also increase your muscle weight, as well as increasing your appetite.

• Squats
• Deadlifts
• Push-ups
• Pull-ups
• Lunges